An empty piece of paper is laying out before me. I don't know what to write. I have no words to say. There is nothing in this vocabulary, nothing in this language that can express what I am feeling. I stare down at the empty spaces between the lines and imagine what to place in between. What can I say that will come to any importance, now or in the future. Am I dead? Am I alive? Is this what life is meant to be? Happiness or misery; A thin line seperates the two. Hopelessly reaching for something out of my reach. Helplessly searching in shadows that are not my own. Breaking down at every turn, on the edge of insanity. I cry out in silence, and nobody listens. I feel as though I'm covering their ears. I want to be noticed but I won't let anyone hear me. I strive to have that connection, that relationship where nothing matters only the fact that you are there. Yet I am pushing anyone and everything away. How can I tell you my thoughts when I don't know myself? Lost and confused I see the wrong things, I remember the wrong moments. I can no longer cry. I want to. I want to remember, I want to feel this. I want to go through the pain that I so rightfully deserve.
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Staring down at this empty piece of paper, I lift my pen up to the line. Inefficacious is the only word that comes to mind.
6 comments:
I can identify with what you wrote in this post...oh so very much..
Thanks for sharing...I'm glad I found your blog.
Blessings,
Rhiannon
everything u said... was as if it were my own thoughts.. it was everythign i was feeling and thinking but could not put into words... i found this page through ur nex
i wanted to write you a comment, but i don't know what to say, i just read it one more time instead, doing this is influencing peoples lives i think.. well atleast mine.. thanks
Thanks everyone for the positive encouragement. I really hope you know how much it means to me. You are boosting my ego far too much right now haha=P
I don't think it's a very thin line between happiness and misery at all.
In fact, I think that there's all kinds of things between the two. A thin line between unhappiness and misery, maybe. Here, I think it's more like this: happiness | cheerfulness | satisfaction | content | neutral | perturbed | disgruntled | disapointed | upset | unhappiness | misery
I agree, there are plenty of conditions and factors that come into play between the two. However I feel as though, with myself, the line between happiness and misery can be crossed quite quickly causing the line to seem thin. Get what I mean? One minute there's happy, the next second it's not happy.
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